Be Prepared.

June is here. June 2012. It's not just your common month of June. June 2012 signifies the last month of my exchange, the last month of my Brazilian life as a 16 year old. June 2012 is a warning or rather a sign that after a month I'm not going to be a 'Brazilian' anymore. It's time I start thinking about giving up my brazilian throne for newer beginnings.

Bring It On.

 9 months is a along time and even more in the life of a sixteen year old. This is the year that will make me into whatever I shall become in the future. But right now, it's time to think about the nearer future. Going back to India. Those four words sent shivers down my spine. Am I scared? Oh Yes! I'm TERRIFIED. The main reason for that is because each and every thing is going to be completely different for two reasons. 1) 9 months is a long time for major changes to occur. 2) I, personally, am a completely different person. The first point does not concern me that much, the second does. Returning is going to be harder than coming to Brazil. In Brazil, nobody knew who or what I was... I had to construct a whole new image about me for the Brazilians. Starting from scratch is always easier than changin stuff right in the middle. That, is the problem. In India, people expect me to be something they want me to be. My parents will expect me to be a studious guy when I get back. I even know the words that are going to be said to me.. "You have had almost 18 months of vaction now, we let you do whatever you wanted to, you enjoyed, now it's time you put your butt down and concentrate on your studies" (My parents are going to have a grin on their face when they read this) Point agreed. My friends are going to want me to be whatever they are. They have already created different groups of their own with newer people. What am I supposed to do now? Choose? I, on the other hand have totally different views about what I'm going to do. I'm still dreaming. Wake up early, exercise, go to college, study, lunch, football, time with friends, study, dinner, study, sleep. Hah! I wish it was that easy. I really do. But, it isn't going to be and that's where the 'New Jay' comes into the picture. Preparation.
 One month to go and I'm getting ready to have not the worst, but the most challenging time of my life when I return. I already am, to be honest. I'm ready to get hammered physically as well as mentally. I have had a really really easy life here thanks to my wonderful host families and all the wonderful people I met here. I did my part (learning the language, adapting.etc.) and they more than did their's. But, I needed this time and I got it and I made the most of it. I compare photos from nine moths ago to recent photos and I see a huge change, I don't know if you guys do. It's not just the hair and the piercing.. The smile, the earlier babyish smile has turned itself into a adultish smirk. The eyes, the eyes looked happy and dreamy before. Now? They look strong and confident. I'm not praising myself, it's just what has happened with time and experiences. All I know, is that I'm proud of myself. No matter what anyone else says.
 Getting back to the main topic, I'm preparing myself for a war. A war against myself, a war where both sides can win... or lose. It's going to be one hell of a challenge and even though I am terrified, I also am excited to confront whatever India and Pune has in store for me. I'll try and I shall give it my best shot, not only to demonstrate what good this exchange has done to me but also, subdue the Brazilian side.. Lock it up deep inside. I am going to come back strong and confident with the belief that just like We (My family) tackled challenges in the past, we shall do it once again. We are in this together and we always shall be. I have just one request to my family and friends back in India. I am going to try and adapt as quickly and as well as possible. All I want from you guys, is your support and a little bit of patience. (Friends mainly)

 This is just warm up. The real deal is just thirty-two days away. At this moment Scar's (From Lion King) voice rings in my ear.. BE PREPARED. Don't worry, I assure you... We shall be. We shall.

It's Time.

There isn't a better time to write this blog than today. 20th May 2012 was an emotional day for all us exchanges. Saying goodbye is always harder than it should be, always was and always will be. It's a pity that it has to be done someday or the other in all walks of life.
 About 9 months ago we were just random kids from all over the world meeting up in an hotel in Atibaia. Nobody meant nothing to each other. We were mere citizens of the world. All this time later, we all know how much it has changed. I mean, I was just observing the people saying goodbye to each other rather than participating in it. The group hugs, the individual hugs, the kisses. But, why? Why was everybody crying so much? Why was there so much sadness around? I thought about it for sometime and I found the answer.
 Time. Time changes everything. People, emotions, feelings.. Everything. I'm sure all of us have gone through drastic changes during this year. We have evolved, physically and mentally. Some of us have become fat (Most of us actually), some have become blonde, some have got new tattoos or piercings. Mentally, we have all become stronger, we all know a new language, but the main, the major change that has occured is that we have started valuing people. Valuing your family, your friends, the people you have around because now we know how it is to live away from all of it. How hard it is. That, my friend, is exactly the reason for all the tears. We value each other. We know what the other person means to us. His real worth. Nobody wanted to let go of Hailey and Chloe during hugs because somewhere deep down inside, we knew that we may never see that person again. It's bitter, but it can happen. The person with whom you spent the best time of your life with is gone forever, literally. Every one of us is irreplaceable.. Nobody can take 'fill in' for your exchange student friends because they know exactly how you feel and what you have been through. JUST WE KNOW. Coldplay helped me in my endeavour of finding the answer.
   " Tears stream..
     Down your face.
     When you lose something,
     You can't replace"
That is why we cried.. The thought of maybe losing someone you will not be able to replace, no matter what, is depressing. This is just another phase of our exchange. Unfortunately, the last one.
 This is natures way of telling all of us that It's Time. It's time because a whole circle has been completed. We cried when we left our parents, our friends, our life and now wer cry because we do the same now. Say goodbye to our (host) parents, (exchange students) friends and this new life we managed to construct. It's time we make the most of the moments we have had in this exchange to be better people. I know I don't talk a lot, but I know that I understand emotions and I understand people. I just wanted to share this with all of you. Also, always remember, it's good to cry for someone. Then that person knows how much he means to you :)
The answer has been found and passed on. I have a strange feeling that my next blog-post is going to be about exchange students too. Hold on.